Waves of Exhaustion, Currents of Renewal: An Autoethnography of Academic Emotional Burnout and Recovery

Authors

• Rofiza Aboo Bakar, Universiti Teknologi MARA Cawangan Pulau Pinang, MalaysiaFollow

Abstract

This autoethnography explores my experience of academic burnout and emotional recovery as a mid-career female educator in a Malaysian public university. Drawing from reflective journals, memory work, and embodied recollections between 2023 and 2025, I trace a personal journey through three experiential phases: the weight of expectations, burnout and emotional rupture, and embodied recovery through open sea swimming. The narrative is guided by Chang’s (2016) thematic structuring approach and interpreted through Lazarus and Folkman’s (1984) Transactional Model of Stress and Coping. My story reveals how burnout was not the result of overwork, but of institutional erasure. As I navigated the aftermath of leadership and professional invisibility, I turned to open water swimming as a form of embodied coping and quiet resistance. Swimming became a space where I could reconnect with my breath, body, and action beyond institutional metrics. This study does not seek to generalize but offers what Ellis and Bochner (2000) describe as narrative credibility: inviting readers to feel with, think through, and reflect on their own institutional entanglements. It highlights the emotional and embodied dimensions of academic life, especially for women in leadership. By sharing this story, I hope to contribute to conversations about burnout, coping, and what it means to remember the self when the institution forgets.

Keywords

academic burnout, autoethnography, embodiment, open sea swimming

Author Bio(s)

Dr. Rofiza Aboo Bakar is an Associate Professor at the Academy of Language Studies, Universiti Teknologi MARA Cawangan Pulau Pinang, Malaysia. With over 25 years of experience in English language education and a background in Educational Psychology, her research explores emotional well-being, academic burnout, identity, and renewal through embodied practices. She was a Visiting Fellow at Cardiff University, United Kingdom (2023–2024), and draws on autoethnography to examine the intersections of personal narrative and institutional life. A certified swimming instructor, Dr. Rofiza integrates open water swimming into her recovery process and reflective inquiry, particularly as a means of coping with professional exhaustion and fostering personal transformation. Please direct correspondence to [email protected]

Acknowledgements

The author would like to express sincere gratitude to Universiti Teknologi MARA Cawangan Pulau Pinang for the continuous support and encouragement in academic writing and research.

Publication Date

8-31-2026

Creative Commons License

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 4.0 International License.

Recommended APA Citation

Bakar, R. A. (2026). Waves of exhaustion, currents of renewal: An autoethnography of academic emotional burnout and recovery. The Qualitative Report, 31(8), 6403-6421.

ORCID ID

0000-0002-0612-996X