In this autoethnographical study, I examine how my identities were influenced by Confucianism. Two main Confucian concepts were examined: “selfperfection,” and “filial piety and submissiveness.” As a migrant who left Macau for Australia at fifteen, I have been immersed in diverse cultural climates, experienced gender bias, identity crisis and racial discrimination. I consider all experiences as essential steps of my evolution with ethnographic, interpretative, phenomenological and narrative understandings. This paper introduces the term “seasonal fluctuations” as a way to describe the changing meanings of my lived experiences that were interrogated by my three distinctive personalities: The Writer, The Interpreter and The Observer. This triple hermeneutics is borrowed from Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis. For me, my gender, birth place and birth order had pre-determined my fate before learning took place. The Confucian values that my family and I adopted further shaped my identities. Issues of gender equity and social justice had been discussed in the interrogation of my story, my identities remain fluid. Finally, the challenges and benefits of conducting an autoethnography were discussed. I acknowledge that qualitative research can have a transformative influence on the individuals conducting the inquiry, as we reflect on our participation in the world around ourselves.


Confucianism, Autoethnography, GenderBias, Identity Crisis, Racial Discrimination, Lived Experiences, ExperientialLayering, Seasonal Fluctuations

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